“No message is a message” – is pure and simple. One isn’t as interested as you are. It can be interpreted as a message in itself, suggesting one doesn’t want to engage or are busy or simply don’t care. There are moments when getting no message carries profound meaning, serving as an unspoken message in its own right.
In our modern world, communication is more accessible than ever before. We can send messages and emails across the world in seconds, but in the midst of this bombardment of constant contacts, there are moments when someone’s silence stands out. Ever had one of those moments when you are waiting eagerly for a text back, only to be met with silence and those insecure thoughts arise….… Why hasn’t they responded to my texts? Did I offend them? Don’t they want to have anything to do with me anymore? What have I done wrong? And you literally die of OTV – Over Thinking Virus.
To understand the unspoken message in getting no message, it is essential to read between the lines. Getting no message or unresponsiveness in communication can speak volumes. When someone chooses not to reply or engage in a conversation, it can convey a range of messages, from indifference to disagreement or discomfort. What should one do in this awkward situation? Send another text demanding an explanation or pretend it never happened? As those feelings of self-doubt creeps in, one starts to feel like rubbish and then, slowly and slowly self-pity and insecurity begins.
Sometimes being ignored, left out and pushed aside by someone day after day is also one of the worst types of bullying to gain the upper hand. They are playing mind games with you, knowing very well that by keeping you waiting for a response will cause you bitter frustration and they get a kick out of it. It is like silent treatment INVALIDATING the person quietly, by not acknowledging the texts and avoiding to communicate thus leading the sender to unwanted stress.
Don’t you just hate that feeling of being super confused because of how someone else is acting, when you can’t figure out why they are acting that way and what it means about you and how they feel about you.
Many a times, when someone does not respond to your texts, one feels like asking:-
- Did the messages get lost in the Arabian Sea?
- Is your phone broken or dead?
- Are you on a silent mode?
- Are my messages going into your spasm folder?
- Should I send a search party?
- Am I talking to the wall?
- Did you get abducted by aliens
- Did your phone go on vacation without you and so on and on….
But the actual facts may be :-
- The person really does not like you
- They are getting back at you for ignoring one of their text messages
- They find your text messages really boring
- They are lazy and don’t respect you enough to respond to you
- Their phone battery is dead
- Some people’s world doesn’t revolve around you
- May be, they lost all their contacts and so they don’t recognize your number.
- They didn’t hear text notification
- Something is bothering them and they do want to talk. Perhaps they are having a bad day.
- They don’t want to open up to you because they don’t want to connect with you on that level
- Sometimes, not responding to texts and maintaining silence can also be an expression of respect for boundaries.
- Finally… did you actually check to see if you pressed send after you finished writing your message?
Until recently, I would always get upset about what it means about me when someone acts in a way that I don’t understand. Instead of accepting the situation for what it was, I was absorbing and keeping within myself everything. I was making everything about “ME”. When anyone thinks, acts or does something, it’s from their own perspective which is based on their reality. I have realised that most of the time how someone else behaves has nothing to do with me. It’s about THEM! The opinions others give are according to the agreements or disagreements they have in their own minds. I understood that their silence has nothing to do with me. Even if they’re not busy with their work, their lack of response is because of their own issues, not mine. Now, I am no longer bothered by how others behave. I don’t really care why someone else does or doesn’t do something. Now I feel more positive and have more energy to focus on stuff that really does matter, rather than petty text messages.
If you take something personally, you allow whatever was said to become your truth, you accept it as a reality, an assumption that everything is about “ME”, when in fact it’s just someone else’s version of the truth. Try not to let their actions affect your self-worth or confidence.
So, next time you send someone a text message and if you don’t get a response, that’s ok. Just remind yourself that it is nothing personal. They will give you reply after sometime when they want to and if they want to. You cannot control people after all. Just relax and get back to your stuff and leave them on their own for a while. No relationship can be forced. If they aren’t willing to, you can’t make them do. They will realize someday. Till then wish them well and carry on with your life. Don’t sit at home and repetitively check your phone. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME THINKING ABOUT SOMEONE WHO ISN’T GIVING YOU A SECOND THOUGHT. Pick yourself up and forget about it. The best thing to do is to leave them ALONE!
Of course, there are some exceptional friends who respond in time on receipt of your texts or at least send a message to revert back later. There are some who can read your mood swings by the texts you post. There are also some nuts who can read your silence when you do not text them for a couple of days. And finally, some extraordinary sample pieces {friends} who will never ever initiate a post but are GOOD LISTENERS. They will always encourage you to send posts on any subject across the globe. In fact, they will insist on a covering note [explanation] for every forwarded message or an image. Though they will enjoy reading your posts, patiently listen to the same posts repeatedly again and again, without getting bored or annoyed, hardly will they ever respond. But still such supports are rare gems, indeed special. Never lose such friends. Keep Them.
